Gotta Love State Holidays

As it's President's Day, I got it off paid, so that allowed me to attend what has become one of my favorite meetings.  I love the group at St. David's.  It's a nice group of people.  For the most part, it isn't usually over-crowded, and we get to actually speak to one another.


It also wasn't bad as we're in the tail-end of February and the temperatures outside are practically May-ish.  Granted a little windy, but still... none of us were going to complain! 


I volunteered for the "More About Alcoholism" reading today as there were only nine of us there this morning.  I read that quite a bit at night before I do my nightly meditation.  It's also nice sharing that with people who can probably recite by rote along with me. 


Anyhoots... today's topic was a fun one.  The whole concept of "liquor being my best friend and the fact that I had a lot of fun drinking"... I shared some stories from my Columbia days, where I'd take my classmates about four blocks over to Greektown and order INDIVIDUAL bottles of roditis ( a Greek blush wine) for each member of the table.  We'd eat appetizers from the entire menu and then go back to the building on Wabash and go on the air... completely plowed.  How we never got sited for FCC violations, I will never to this day know.


But, yes... liquor was my friend.  Albeit a fake one.  I let all of that mentality get the better of me and I let it run my life for far too long.


It's not my best friend.  It's not even a friend.  What friend would do that to someone?!?


The final "thought" / "prayer" or whatever came down to... sharing your love/joy/happiness/time...etc... with those that still suffer.  That's knocking Step 12 outta Wrigley for me.  I do that with my St. David's crowd.  I'm doing something for others, I suppose. 


One Day at a Time.


No reason for following photo, other than the fact that I love this show:

Anniversary Today And Some Recaps

I had today as a paid day off... so it allowed me to attend one of my favorite Monday meetings.  It was also a milestone for me as I claimed it as my 10 Month Anniversary.  I got a round of applause, which I deferred to, as the older "me" would've loved that bit.  I didn't do anything anyone else in that group hadn't already done... but it was still nice to be recognized.  The St. David's gang doesn't do anniversary chips and I frankly don't mind.  In my early days of sobriety I collected them like I did casino chips, and that was never the point.


But it was a nice day for me nonetheless. 


Stef and I attended the open meeting at Provena yesterday... and it was quite a bit better than the one we attended on Super Bowl Weekend.  But still... we have our rules at closed meetings and I have a hard time listening to people who have "other" addiction issues as open speaker.  BUT... as I've said here numerous times... open meetings are somewhat more lapse/loose/whatever.  The gal speaking did finally come to a topic... however loosely related it was.


My meeting this morning was a closed one, so we could only deal with the topic at hand.  Nice topic it was, too.


Simply... merely... be expectant.  Expect better things.  I'm really in a good 'zone' right now.  I'd "love" to say I don't think about the act... but that'd be a lie.  I do.  I just no longer act on it.  That is a miracle to me.  I'm a hell of a lot happier these days. 


What was the last thing said in today's meeting?  Something along the lines of... growing old happily is to expect better things than you ever had before... (something like that...)  Today's topic was sorta Leo Buscaglia in that it dealt with growing and expanding my life.


Nice.


So, ten months.  (I'm debating whether or not to claim that at the Open Meeting... it doesn't always mean as much to them as to us.)  But still... Yay me!  One Day at a Time.

YES! I AM ALIVE!

We're so short-handed at work they've had to call in reinforcements from our Joliet branch.  They find it surprising how busy we are in Aurora/Naperville.  Maybe I should've applied for that full-time position out by them after all... but I guess it doesn't matter in the end, as a number of use have become pseudo-full-time employees.  If this keeps up, I may ask for a permanent slot and the higher level of pay and insurance.  More on that as it happens.


This new schedule has put a serious damper on my meeting attendance.  Right now all I can swing are the Open Sunday and Thursday Geneva lunch meetings.  It's all well and good.  I'm not in a position to complain as things are going well.    We had quite a moving speaker at the Open Sunday meeting this past weekend.  I'm normally not a huge fan of people who have multiple abuse issues.  (Closed meetings for those not aware are strictly limited to alcohol.  However, after hearing this gentleman's extremely sad story... I'd be the old heinous egotistical bastard of old to complain.  No one, and I mean no one, should have to struggle with everything he went through.


I know that's kind of vague, but personal loss, and I mean EXTREME PERSONAL LOSS, is something I just won't share here.  We're supposed to keep those things anonymous.


Last Thursday I was part of a First Step meeting, so I got to share very briefly my story with some of the people ambling over from the courthouse.  Fair enough.  That also covers my Twelfth Step about involvement in the AA community.  So, I know I'm at least working a couple of steps simultaneously.


Today's lunch-time meeting was back to form.  There were two topics basically.  (Groundhog discussion notwithstanding, LOL.)  It dealt with how we would get a kick out of the first few drinks and then would spiral out of control, and the aftermath that ensued.  Letdowns, depressions, false sense of entitlement.  That sort of thing.  I shared a thought or three on that aspect.  Again, as with most AA members... our stories are startlingly similar.  The second topic dealt with  practicing love. 


Now here's a topic that in my earlier years I strived for.  Leo Buscaglia was one of my idols.  Still is.  And through this program and In Patient Care, After Care, etc.  I'm finally getting back to that version of Jim.  I know I can never totally become him again, as we're constantly moving forward, and constantly changing.  That's good.  Change is good.  I just need to remember that older Leo-loving version of me and continue to work that into my day-to-day recovery.  I have to try and get along with all people... no matter their faults and differences.  Tall order.  But I'm working on it.


I work on it as I do everything else... One Day at a Time.


I will try and be better about posting... but this weekend is booked work-wise and Super Bowl Sunday.  We'll see what happens.

Groundhog? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Groundhog!

I really need to make some gumbo this year!  Haven't made it in ages!