The meeting started off in the standard manner. Closed meetings... (I hope I'm not repeating myself)... are not like the usual meetings. There are a number of additional readings that need to be addressed, announcements that need to be made, and the odd ritual of everyone in the room stating their name and reason for being there. Fair enough.
Once we got through that bit and the passing of the basket (next week I will finally have funds to actually contribute)... we got on to business. The reading this morning was "Freedom From Fear"... fear of lapsing, fear of those around us... fear of just about everything that rattles around in our heads. No one really latched onto that topic, but leave to our old pal Will to come up with a good one. Love & Acceptance. He shared a story about something that had recently happened with his "significant other", as he put it.
The conversation sky-rocketed into that tangent and that was cool. Then... 25 minutes into our discussion, my least favorite person, Crazy Tom, burst through the door. He did not one, but two orbits around the room before finding a seat. I was so busy chatting with sub-sponsor Gary that I didn't realize the seat next to me was empty, so... my Higher Power was giving me an opportunity to actually exercise love and acceptance. Crazy Tom... (and I really ought to STOP referring to him as such...) sat next to us. We weren't a dozen or so sentences into Will's thought when he started speaking. Under normal circumstances I'd have gone all Tasmanian Devil on that... but I was in the meeting 'zone', I guess.
He spoke for nearly ten minutes and I'll be damned (too late!) if I or the room knew what he was talking about. I don't think there was a single verb/transitional clause in his entire rant... but I let it go. I knew my Higher Power was testing me. The circumstances were just TOO CONVENIENT! He did get up about four times to refill his coffee and see if there were any sweets to be had. I let all of that go, too. If that were still Iggy's room... there'd have been f-ing Pop-Tarts or fruit in the room! I've made a mental note to send an e-mail to Iggy out in Syracuse. He shouldn't be too hard to find in their registry. I thought he might like to know a marginal success story... if he even remembers me.
I thought at one point I'd have an entire cup of coffee spilt on me as Tom was shaking so bad and having his own internal conversations... but that didn't happen. We ran exceptionally long as one man waited till the very last moment to start crying for five minutes before getting to the crux of his issue... I guess he got fired earlier in the week and woke up this morning mentally cursing his higher power for it. This would've been a great topic to start the session with... but he was emotional and everyone took a step back to let him vent.
In the meantime, as he was telling us all of this, Tom managed to disassemble his sunglasses and one of the lenses fell next to my sneaker. I picked it up and handed it back to him as anyone would do. I didn't realize it was a bonding moment. When the session ended and we did the Lord's Prayer, Tom made it a point to find me and made sure I held his hand. (Clearly MY higher power speaking to me.) Did I do it? Yes. Did I go to the men's room and clean my hand from his shaking sweaty hand? Yes. So... I'm doing marginally better at love and acceptance. Given the circumstances... I think I did well.
Got a snuggly huggly from Gary before I left. Fist bumped Cliff over the aforementioned Cubbie miracle. :)
We shall see what tomorrow's meeting brings. It's nice to (currently) not to have to work weekends. On the plus side... I start late on Monday... so I can attend my morning meeting then!
One Day at a Time! :)
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