Holidays Got the Better of Me

Whoo boy!  Some time got away from me what with the Thanksgiving holiday and work!  This blog took a marginal beating.  So, let's see what we can do to rectify that situation!


I had a funky schedule with the holiday, but it did allow me a chance to attend one of my more favorite AA meetings on Wednesdays.  Given that it was the day before Thanksgiving, the topic at Westminster last week was about... GASP!... what things we were thankful for!  (Where do they come up with these topics?!?)  All silliness aside, I voiced that I was, of course, thankful for being sober and for the continued love and support of Stef.


The holiday itself went off pretty well, actually.  We just had Stef's boss and husband over.  I deep fried this year.  All turned out amazingly well, even if I do say so myself.  Yes, it was a ton of work, but I can actually say with no fear of contradiction, that it was the first year I'd done it completely sober.  There wasn't even a moment throughout the entire day(s) of preparation and actual cooking, that I felt a need to do it while under the influence!  Bonus points all around for me! 


I also emailed Ignatius on that day to let him know that I was doing well and that I just wanted him to know that.  Still waiting on a response.  I have tomorrow (Wednesday) off, and will do a more thorough job of sifting through my emails.


I messed up my meeting timeframes on Black Friday and had to work Saturday, so no meetings attended on those two days.  However, we both managed to attend the Sunday meeting over at Provena.  I'm embarrassed to say that I don't remember the name of the man who spoke, but it was a good story overall.


I had a weird shift yesterday, so I was able to attend my St. David's meeting.  I really like that one.  With it being after the holiday, there weren't that many people, which always makes it that much more personal.  The general topic was an 'after holiday' reading about being gracious to God for his/her help in our continued sobriety.


I have off tomorrow, so I can attend my Westminster meeting.  That's usually a big gathering, but there's almost always something to be had from the assembled crowd.


I have a message out to my sponsor Lyn about my Saturday morning work schedule.  I'll be missing out again this upcoming Saturday... and if the tentative schedule I saw today remains unchanged... I won't be there next week as well.  I just wanted Lyn to know that I haven't abandoned him or what I consider my home group.


Still... another day clean.  Another day sober.  :)  I'm not giving the concept any undue thought.  And that has it own rewards,


I sent the last of the turkey and ham out with Stef this morning.  There's some ham in the quiche I made last night... I just don't think I could stomach another round of turkey.  (Let our pal John chow down on that!)  LOL!


One Day at a Time!  (They do indeed add up!)


I don't "think" I used the following photo funny yet... if I did... sorry for the repeat!

You Know It's a Slow Work Day When...

So, it was my turn to bring in a couple of bags of candy to the lanes today.  We can't have proper food out in the lanes, but snack treats are allowed.  I bought a couple of bags of Werther Originals Caramel candies from Aldi.  All well and good.


Once the entire staff got there this morning I became the "Candy Man".  Both Harold and Jose were giving me early a.m. grief in song.  It was all fine. 


Now... we had a major lull in traffic for most of the morning... and as I'm sitting in my station (trying to stay warm)... I've got this silly little song going through my head.  The (no longer simply) puppy Rottweilers were having a grand fun day in their grassy pen next door.  And, as my dear friend, Leo Buscaglia once said... "MADNESS STRUCK."


I had the following going through my head throughout most of the day as they barked at our motorists:


"Who can take a clean lawn... sprinkle it with poo?
Bark at some neighbors and snarf a time or two?
The Teggie Dog can!
Yes... the Teggie Dog can!
The Teggie Dog can cause she spreads her Eskie love,
and let's you know she's Boo!"


Yeah.. working on that last line (we had a VERY SLOW day obviously)... but good luck getting those first few lines out of your head!  ;-)

Miss You Tons Grommie!

Oh, my.... so many days and so many meetings to go over!


Let's see... last Friday was a Step Meeting at St. David's, and that was fine for the most part.  A majority of the group were going over the election returns before we actually got to our main topic which is Step 11.  It's the weird time of the year for me when the meetings tend to deal with each step placed against the month.  While I'm trying to work each step into my day-to-day life... I'm not "quite" at number 11.  Still and all a good meeting.


Saturday was a marginal free for all.  At first there really  wasn't a topic, per se.  Everyone assembled was talking (yet again) about the election.  This portion sets itself against the traditions of AA.  (Politics are NOT supposed to play a part.)  Basically the meeting turned into a huge batch of people arguing over Facebook and wanted/unwanted topics.


Sunday was the usual open meeting.  The speaker was lovely... but probably needed another hour or so to bring things back around to the whole "what it's like now" aspect of the format.  I personally didn't get all that much out of it, but those meetings tend to happen.


Monday was a back to work day.  Nice enough, weather withstanding.


This morning was my monthly meeting with my psychiatrist.  He and I are taking it on a month by month basis.  I will be surprised if it makes it past December's meeting.  I personally feel that he's disinterested with our talks.  I shared everything that's happened since our last meeting, but again, he seemed aloof.  To his credit, he did say that I looked good and well rested. 


I certainly hope so, as I've been doing my best to be both.  I did share that today was the anniversary of Gromit's passing... and herein lies my issue with today... he didn't appear to care.  He's clearly not a pet person.  I could spend more than my session's worth of time going over how he thought I was lamenting over an animal... but I won't.  Pardon the <CENSORED> <CENSORED> out of me for caring about something and agonizing over his loss on today of all days. 


I'm more than "mildly" pissed at the moment.


There was time to attend a Geneva meeting today, so that calmed my nerves somewhat.


I am indeed deeply grateful for what the program of AA has done for me.  (Today's topic.)  I am also equally grateful for the world it has opened up to me!  I'm going to take that bit to heat with me tonight as I, still in my own way, mourn the loss of a friend of the likes I may never make again.


MISS YOU G-MAN!  LOVE YOU!

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

My SINCEREST THANKS to all veterans, their families... and their pets today.

WTF

I have no words, really. 


Wow.  Just wow.


How stupid are Americans?  (SORRY IF YOU LEAN THAT WAY....)  But wow.  Just fucking wow.  I normally censor myself on my own blog... but not on this one.  I'm sorry. 


All shriek heil our new orange Führer!

Election Day. A Rare Tuesday Off. A GREAT Topic.

So... I'm hopeful that our LONG national nightmare is over tonight... but I have a hinky feeling it won't be.  (I will defer to our President, Bill Maher and John Oliver to share their opinions...as mine equal theirs)


We voted first thing this morning.  We also took a somewhat hesitant photo of Tegan the Eskie in the leaves this morning before our days started out in earnest.


I don't often get an early weekday like today off... let alone paid... so it was nice to be able to attend a Tuesday luncheon meeting back over in Geneva.  :)  I'm glad I did.  Today's topic dealt with our collective inferiority complex. 


That was one of my major points of discussion with my sponsor Lyn as I was working through Step Four.  My ego.  My selfishness... (which was touched upon this past weekend at my Home Meeting)... and let's just be real here... my just being inferior thanks to my drinking.


WHAT THE <CENSORED> was I trying to prove, eh?  Not a damn thing.  As I look back upon this with a decent chunk of change behind me sobriety-wise... I really had nothing to feel inferior about.  I have (STILL GRATEFULLY HAVE!) the love of my best friend... nothing more needs to be said.  WTF was I trying to do or prove?


I have nothing to feel inferior over!  It's as simple as that.


I remain clean.  I remain sober.  I remain... ONE DAY AT A TIME!  (Now there is something worth striving towards!  OK...and an election win.  Yes.  I get that!) 


It's going to be a LONG... (yet sober) night.  :)

Miracles DO Happen!!!

Well... damn.  I'm at a loss for words!  Like so many before me, so many of my age, and so many who just never gave up...  we did it!!!!!


If I can steal a lyric from the Ramones:  "I Believe in Miracles!"


What's the shirt I've seen people wearing?  "Our Long National League Nightmare is Over."  Isn't that the <censored> truth!?!? 


I can't begin to express my feelings about the Cubs and this World Series win.  It's mindboggling!


Again, like so many others... I've almost always, without fail, have uttered the words "This Year is Next Year" at the start of the season.  That's usually met with a slight laugh or roll of the eyes from Stef and just about everyone else around me...  well... you know what?!? 


Be damned if we weren't right this year! 


I am so happy right now!  The even happier thing is that I got to do it sober!  So, there ya go Chicago... two miracles! 

GO CUBS GO!  GO CUBS GO!  HEY CHICAGO WHATTAYA SAY... THE CUBS ARE GONNA WIN TODAY!!! 

That's not going to get old for quite a while!  I'm beside myself right now... I can only begin to imagine what my pal Jimmy Knight is feeling right now!  (WE DID IT BUDDY!!!!!)

Smog Daddy Must Die

Wow.  What a roll out and what a day for Smog Daddy... and I mean that in the worst possible terms... but I didn't let it get the better of me... whereas, a while ago, it would've.  Judy is supremely lucky for sincerely apologizing to me and the others working today.  She nearly lost most of her crew and it wasn't even her own fault... but she needs to really work on her interpersonal skills. 


The state of Illinois launched a new emissions program today that was supposed to speed things up... but... like all things issued from the state level... it was a complete disaster.  Did Smog Daddy speed up the test process?  Somewhat.  Did Smog Daddy totally increase wait times, dump cars from the system, cancel out users, kick you out whilst manually entering VIN numbers... as the 10th Doctor would say... "Oh yes."


Here's hoping tomorrow will have a majority of the bugs worked out of the system.


I'm also working on some internal issues.  (TMI!)  I have an odd assortment of meds that bind me up in the most horrific way.  (DOUBLE TMI!!)  Thankfully, nothing happened during or after work today.  I'm hopeful that I can try and level things out throughout this evening and into tomorrow. 


I caught Lyn's son last night, as I needed someone to talk to, and have yet to hear back from him as of this typing.  At least I know he'll call as soon as he's able.  :)  Bless his heart. 


SO... on the uber plus side... another day sober... despite Smog Daddy!  HAH!  I beat you... you piece of shiznit.  (Personally I wouldn't want to be in the line over at the emissions place this afternoon.  It was about an hour wait when I left... and I had to work past my standard clock-out time.)