First & Twelfth Step Today. Iggy and Lyn Would Be Proud

I attend an out of district meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  It's in a small church in the shadows of Geneva's court area.  It's like a lot of the other Closed meetings I attend that help locals and regulars, but they also get a number of people from the court house.  (I feel like I'm repeating myself from a different blog post, but whatever.)


Closed meetings are restricted for existing members, but all are welcome to attend, provided they are there to stop drinking.  We had something of a bandwagon roll up today it seems.  This close to the weekend, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.  The hostess asked if there were people there for their first AA meeting of any type anywhere and a number of hands went up.  Patty asked if there were some guys that would like to do a First Step meeting with them, so I was one of the few who volunteered. 


I had a marginally selfish reason.  As I've been a little down of the depressing nature of the daily readings lately, I figured it would be a better meeting for my time and the effort of driving out all that way.


We only had about an hour (after the initial introductions), so myself and two other guys did a very brief AA history of ourselves and let the new guys introduce themselves.  They were there from the courthouse and were in the process of losing their licenses and ordered to attend meetings.  I've heard variations of their stories in other meetings and I'm not being overly judgmental, but they were clearly there for the signatures saying they attended.  That was for Ron to do, as he was the senior AA member in the room.  He's got 23 years on me in sobriety.  But, it was a nice meeting overall.  I highly doubt we'll see those guys again at that particular meeting, unless of course they stick with the program and end up back in the nearby courthouse. 


So I did my best in the twelfth step area and brought the message of AA to some others who were suffering.  I'll have to make a mental note and share today with Psychiatrist Jim at my next After Care meeting.  Iggy's gone, so I can't tell him.  He'd have smiled that smile of his, I believe.  I will let my Sponsor Lyn know when I see him after his vacation.  The only other person that I think will enjoy hearing about that is Andy from Residential.  I'll tell him for sure.  That will make his day.


I was thinking about this on the drive home, but it's really pretty sad that I could wrap my issues with alcohol in about a five-ish/almost ten-ish minute recap.  But then, I was a pretty sad individual when I was drinking, so it makes sense.


ANYHOOTS... all that being said.  FANTASTIC endorsement speech by the President last night.  I'm looking forward to tonight's speech.  I watched a good chunk of last week's convention as well, as it's only right (in my mind) to hear what the other side had to say.  After tonight, I'm politicked out for a while.  I'm going to sit on the sidelines and take a breather.


One Day at a Time!  


P.S.  And the following graphic is for the actors who played Bob, Gordon and Luis over on Sesame Street.  The three original remaining cast members were FIRED after forty years with the show.  Booooo HBO!  Just Booo!

Weekend Meetings & Borrowed Time

Had some good meetings on Saturday and Sunday.


We're going to either need a bigger room on Saturdays, split up into two different groups, or stagger two meetings on Saturday if that's the only room Gateway has available... and with the cafeteria being used by the residents... I can't think of another large room in that building.  Saturdays are becoming increasingly bigger.  The clientele is also getting younger.  I think the PHP groups must be letting out the folks that have completed their program.  That's two Saturdays where the First Timer portfolios made the circuit of the room for people to put their phone numbers down.  The one, well, kid couldn't have been older than 18... as he said he had the alcohol/addict combo platter going, I can guess which of his two was the predominant illness.  Still... he showed up... that's a step in the right direction.


On a side note, Andy from Residential told me that Iggy's last day was Friday.  Going to miss him, but nothing an actual letter or email to Syracuse University won't fix.  It was also nice of Andy to say that seeing me at the Saturday meetings makes his mornings.  That was cool.  He was quite pleased with the whole 100 day thing.


Yesterday, Sunday, was a REALLY good meeting.  The speaker was another young guy.  College-age guy in his early 20's.  His story was a very good one and he made a very good impression on those assembled.  His analogy of his Higher Power being like a GPS system went over very well with everyone. 


Today's topic was about us members of AA living on borrowed time.  If it were not for our higher power and the other members of AA, we'd probably have already used up our allotted time.  Now this may very well be the case and all well & true, BUT... man has July been a rough one for readings!  I know I've said that bit before, but wow!  That's a bit of dark speak in what is usually a fairly lighthearted meeting.  Still, it was a smaller group than most Mondays.  Some of the regular people weren't there today, so we only had the one group around the table. 


I have to reschedule my After Care appointment for next week.  They called and when I called back, they weren't available, so I will do that first thing tomorrow morning.  Not a big deal.  I'm sure they'll have something else open somewhere in that week.


One Day at a Time!  Doing quite well, even if I do say so myself.

Doctor Visits and an Anniversary

I finally got to see my dermatologist.  He cancelled on me a few weeks ago and I saw him on Wednesday at their new facility.  I think they're still working out the kinks at their new digs as it took a while to get in, but once inside, things went pretty well.  I had a facial growth removed from the corner of my right eye.


I had a similar one on my left eye that was driving me nuts!  It itched like a mother and admittedly hurt a little whenever I rubbed my eyes.  For whatever reason, that one decided to simply fall off.  The one on the other eye had to be cut off.  That one hurt a little.  There were also two separate skin tacks on my sides, just under my armpits.  They put a little anesthetic and snip-snip... gone. 


It was a very good thing I didn't wear the white pineapple/flamingo tropical shirt Stef got me for my birthday, as the bigger removal didn't scab over well enough during the afternoon/evening and my left side bled into one of my favorite green shirts.  When I put that same shirt on yesterday morning, it looked as though I'd been shot.  It's been soaking in cold water and stain remover stuff since yesterday and it looks a little better.


Yesterday was also my second visit with my After Care Counselor Jim.  It's nice that he's in the AA program and is both a sponsor and occasional host of meetings.  We've had now two really good discussions.  I need to continue to take better care of myself, which I am working on.  He also knows my sponsor Lyn.  But given how long Lyn's been in the program that's not a huge surprise.  It was funny that we were speaking about my sponsor and my phone went off in my pocket.  I told Jim who it was and we shared a laugh.  Lyn called to let me know that he and his wife would be going on vacation and that he wouldn't be at our Saturday meeting, but would have our mutual AA friend Gary check in with me.  That's a really cool thing of him to do... but then... that's his gig as sponsor.


Today is... drum roll... 100 days sober for me!  I finally broke the three digit mark!  I'm pretty psyched by that!  Jim and I were talking about it and he said that he was happy for me.  I think that after day 120 I'm going to stop being as mentally cognizant of the daily tally.  I'll still pay attention to the days themselves occasionally via the laptop counter I have on desktop, but it's time (pardon the expression) to not mentally beat myself up over it.  I've proven I can do it and continue to do it.  There are other aspects of my sobriety to concern myself with now.  Not that I haven't been doing so all along.  But anyhoots... YAY!


One Day at a Time... turns into 100... and beyond!

     

Good Weekend. Good Meetings All Around.

I had some good meetings over the weekend and today (Monday).


Saturday was fairly nice as I got to hang out with my sponsor and he was proud of my 90 days.  So were a few of the other members.  The topic was self-love.  There were some interesting contributions to the meeting from the assembled guests... but I sadly was more preoccupied by the behavior of my least favorite AA member... and YET AGAIN... I really need to reel that behavior in.  I was busier completing an internal doughnut count as he went up for his sixth one.  I shared that bit of information with my neighbor on Sunday and he didn't appear too surprised by that information.


Sunday was a FANTASTIC meeting.  The open meeting had a very young AA member speak and by that I mean someone who is a college student.  Her story was remarkable and well received.  It was (for me) one of the better personal stories shared as of late.  Yes... my least favorite AA member was there again, but as there were no doughnuts and the speaker was a woman... he seemed to lose interest and went on his way without opening his mouth. 


Today's church meeting dealt with AA as a whole and how we're not supposed to criticize either the program or its membership... something I am SINCERELY working on where Tom is concerned.  I would've addressed that to his face proper, but he must've missed his first bus.  The church is on the Aurora bus route and he arrived late (as sometimes in usual) and sat in with my group as we were closest to the door.  He didn't weigh in on anything for a second day in a row, but again it was a primarily female member group.  I think that has a lot to do with his input at meetings.


Got a call regarding the Speedway gig (amongst other calls) today, but I had to turn it down due to their inability to situate me at a closer station or give me better hours.  I can work for that wage for those hours.  <SIGH.>.  I'm trying my best... but I'm not getting what I need.  Did some groundwork earlier this afternoon as there are some new warehouses opening up, and I hope they have some office jobs, but nothing is out on their facilities as of yet.


One Day At A Time, though, in the interim.  :-)

Tuesdays and Thursdays Are Weird

As the blog post states, Tuesdays and Thursdays are weird... at least for me they are.


I go to a slightly different AA meeting on those days and the clientele are... how do I convey this properly... quite a bit different from what I normally see in my other meetings.  I guess that works.


I've been a VERY BAD AA member with my own personal judgment of another attending member... and as I type that sentence, I know I've probably blogged about this before... but I'm glad a certain member is getting help... but he detracts from the usual daily meetings I attend and it's driving me bananas.  He's also a thorn in my side now on Saturdays AND Sundays.)  His sponsor has all but abandoned him and there's the Doctor part of me that wants to say something or even actually DO something... but is that a can of worms I want to even open?!?  Given his (I don't know... admission to possible arson and a stint in solitary confinement?)... DOES THAT ALTER MY PERCEPTION OF THIS PERSON???  I guess I will let Red from The Shawshank Redemption deal with that bit.  I'm in no position to offer aid to someone that screwed up.  (PERSONAL EDITORIAL COMMENT, mind you!)  What do I know, right?


ANYHOOTS... my point is that my Tuesday/Thursday meetings are in another church and there's a courthouse not too far away... let's just say walking distance.  I thought it was weird having ONE guy dressed up in my IOP class in a suit that probably costs more than a car payment... now... I have a number of them to choose from.  It's a little odd from my standpoint, but I let it go.  (Still not done with Clean & Sober.  Maybe tonight.) 


The WEIRD thing is sharing a room with some of the other people that also came over from the same courthouse.  These are folks who JUST had their licenses taken away and here they are in an AA meeting.  I suppose if I were smarter I would've realized that it's no coincidence a meeting is held that close!  May as well get started, you know?  Some of these folks clearly couldn't afford an attorney and obviously needed their licenses.  So, you (meaning me) take a moderate step back and let them speak their woes.  But the one thought ran through my head... what are they actually getting out of these meetings?


July has been an unusual month for topics and/or readings.  If you are thinking of reading the Daily 24 book... maybe July is not your month.  The past couple of weeks have seemed like "beating you down" sort of readings.  FULL DISCLOSURE:  I do not own that particular book for closed meetings and I "believe" it's part of the whole "Meeting Leader" (for lack of a better term) program.


In the end, I hope to see some of today's people again.  Potential gigs are still simmering at the moment.  What I thought was a job offer today was either an actual bank or a scam... will decipher that tomorrow... there were other things to do today.


One Day at a Time!  All is going well!  :)


And this is for you Teggie... who cannot read... but has chased away a number of riding mower folks.  Woof!

90 Days Sober and a Possibility

I'm very happy with myself today.  90 days sober.  That's pretty cool if I do say so myself... and I do.  (It's my blog... so go figure.)


It feels like it took longer to get to this particular anniversary and I don't know why.  I didn't claim it over this past weekend's meetings as the official date hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that has something to do with it.  I "briefly" mentioned it at yesterday morning's meeting, and I didn't attend one today.


My missing a meeting was for a good reason, though.  I had a job interview.  I'm fairly positive I can get the gig.  There's just some logistical stuff that needs to be addressed.  I have to think about a couple of different scenarios.  Matt, the guy interviewing me, was nice and liked our interaction from what I could gather at the time.  He made mention of going though the background check, so that's a step in the right direction.  More on this as it develops.


I saw the movie 'Clean and Sober' starring the one true Batman (Michael Keaton) was airing the other night, so I set it to tape.  I don't recall seeing it back when it first came out.  It was made either directly in front of Batman, or directly afterwards.  It's hard to call as Keaton had three films out that year.  Clean and Sober, Batman and that one where he and a bunch of guys from a mental institution go out on the town... or something like that.  Ah!  The Dream Team!  Thank you IMDB.  And it was the year before with Clean and Sober.  He also did Beetlejuice in 1988... so those were busy years for him.  ANYWAY... I haven't finished it yet and they took a few creative liberties with the sobriety/addiction storyline, and their depiction of sponsor/sponsoree relationships is a little off-kilter as well... but so far not a bad film.  I'll probably finish it this evening and it would be appropriate considering today's anniversary.


So, One Day at a Time!  It works!  It's working for me!  I feel really good... and a little hopeful in the gig realm.  As I said, I will keep the blog viewers posted.

Blogging Backwards

It will be easiest to blog from today and go backwards as the holiday kind of threw things off.


I was supposed to go to a Dermatologist's appointment this morning, but I received a message while I was in the shower, asking if it were possible to reschedule for later this month.  I'm kind of glad it happened as I wasn't sure whether or not the appointment would prevent me from attending a meeting, even though it's held only a short distance away.


So, fortunately it wasn't a big deal and I was able to get the pooch out for a walk before I left.  We had some fun storms roll through last night and she was skittish as Stef was getting ready for work.  We were both able to get something done this morning.  :) 


I like the Wednesday meeting over at Westminster.  They almost always get a good group which can easily break up into four separate groups.  I always see familiar faces there, but none of them were in my grouping this morning.  Today's topic was in response to the question:  "Am I completely free of my alcohol obsession?"  The obsession part?  Yes.  I think I am and that response ties in nicely with yesterday.


Tuesday I went for my initial After Care appointment with my new psychiatrist.  His name is Jim also.  He's been in the AA program for about 20 years now himself, so it was nice being able to speak so freely about what I've been doing and accomplishing since my release from Residential and IOP.  The Fourth of July (Monday) was three weeks to the day that I was finished with IOP.  Yesterday was day 83 of sobriety.  Jim was very pleased with that number.  His comment was something to the effect of:  "Had you told me any other time frame, I probably would've sent you back into IOP for further care."  Thankfully he didn't have to do that.  I'm looking forward to my next meeting with him in about two weeks.


I was able to attend a meeting on the morning of the holiday at a different area church.  I shouldn't speak ill of some members, but my least favorite one was there, so I purposely miscounted before the groups separated, so I wouldn't have to sit and listen to him.  He's sick on several other levels that are none of my concern and I really should be more supportive, but his input can be offsetting to others.  So, I sat with this other group as we discussed the problems of a guy there who was only two weeks sober and facing some serious marital issues.  I personally thought we could've offered him a little more support, but overall things went well.


Sunday was the open meeting that Stef usually attends with me.  They're supposed to be a combo platter of Al-Anon and AA.  We were a little disappointed with the first speaker as he was more concerned with talking about himself rather than his spouse who was the actual alcoholic.  Al-Anon folks are supposed to share their side of the story, but this guy took up almost the entire hour speaking about pretty much nothing of consequence.  Oh well.


Saturday was my usual home meeting back over at Gateway.  It was a little light people-wise, but to be expected considering it was a holiday weekend.  There was a gentleman there who was only a couple days sober and stating he really wanted a drink, so the meeting was a good one as everyone pitched in to help as best they could.


That pretty much brings me back up to date with the blog.  I applied online for a few different gigs, so I am hoping with all I have that something comes to fruition from that.  I spend time twice a day looking over emails and websites.  Once I post this, I will do my second look through and see if anything new popped up email-wise. 


One Day at a Time.  :)  Doing well and aiming to stay that way.

Reading Rainbow

I know this isn't the first time I've complained about this topic, but I find the Friday AA meeting at the hospital to be a little obtrusive personally.  If we are supposed to be Anonymous... why is it the woman that hosts asks everyone to give their full names when we do the table-wide introductions?


It's a small nitpick, I know... but still.  Some of the people there don't give their full names, but they tend to be the ladies from the other house on the hospital's campus.  Me?  I usually give my radio name.  It's easier.


I'm getting a little tired/bored with the Friday meeting, only because I/we have read this stuff a number of times already.  When I was in Residential, we participated in a number of evening meetings going over various portions of the book.  I was even group leader who got to pick the passages we would read and moderate the group's discussion.  I guess I'm just a little impatient with the others who don't read aloud very well.


We're getting closer to the section of the book featuring individual letters from AA members.  That's not going to take long for us to get through.  I'm hoping the discussions will be like those we had with the old group.  Those were more intense and we had more in common with the letter writers.  We'll see soon, I guess.


Holiday weekend coming up, obviously, so it was a little lighter today.  We'll also see how many people are at the weekend meeting(s).