Only three people at the meeting today, but that's all right, I enjoy small groups like that, as it gives me a chance to be heard.
The topic was Step Six:
"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Defects. I have tons. But the discussion was more about the intricacies of what makes up our total defects. The basic conversation was about ego versus self-esteem. It was about "thinking" badly... but somehow managing to DO the GOOD thing. I'm a work in progress on that one.
For far too long I let my ego run my life. If I had some slight advantage over another person, I would exploit that for my own personal gain. Since all that has occurred, I realize how sad and pathetic that sort of mentality has been, and how sadly and pathetically I've been living my life.
When I get to my making amends Step, there are a number of people I owe massive apologies to... whether I like it or not. I have been speaking to my idea of a higher power and am working on filling those horrible self-centered holes in myself with thoughts of other people. I don't want to go back to being that other person ever again.
No comments:
Post a Comment