I Have An Allergy.. DUH!

So I learned today that I have an allergy.  An allergy to alcohol.  Well, duh!  At least I wasn't the only one attending today that wasn't already completely aware of this SHOCKING new revelation!  There was an exchange of glances throughout the room at this reading, but then, this meeting is not made up of the same folks week in and week out.  I'm wagering the bulk of regulars attend earlier in the morning at the church, or later in the day once the court-ordered and (probably not surprisingly)courthouse people clear out.


I saw enough films during my stay in residential and IOP, and had enough conversations to know and now finally recognize that "chronic" alcoholism is a form of allergy.  Not that I can ever use that as a defense!  I don't!  I had that discussion with Jim my After Care therapist. 


But I will say that it has been really exceptionally nice to be able to discuss this with a completely clear head and frame of mind.  And as I briefly mentioned yesterday, a somewhat more spiritual sense of where I am it in my recovery.


For me, that's a HUGE deal.


I'm try and not be so down on myself as much as I used to be... but that's a rough road.  I'm desperately trying to find a new gig, but it's incredibly hard.  I've been playing phone tag most of the day today with a new temp place, but at least all my info was there for them to see once we finally connected.  While I try and be positive it gets rough personally.  I try and remain positive on the one front, but the other temp agency that called me once again, to place me back in a job I once already proved I could perform, isn't returning my calls. 


It's not affecting my recovery... it just makes morning and evening mediation more of a challenge.  See, that's where my spiritual side presents itself.  I wouldn't have even remotely done that while I was drinking.  Sobriety has opened my eyes to that side of life.  It helps me sleep somewhat... but I'd still trade a bunch of sleepless nights for a regular paying job.


I'm a couple of days shy of a MAJOR personal celebration.  I have that to look forward to!


One Day at a Time!


I laugh every time I see this photo. 

 


  


The action of alcohol on chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy. We allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all. We cannot be reconciled to a life without alcohol, unless we can experience an entire psychic change. Once this psychic change has occurred, we who seemed doomed, we who had so many problems that we despaired of ever solving them, find ourselves able to control our desire for alcohol." Have I had a psychic change?