The past weekend's meetings were pretty good. Saturday was interesting in the fact that a vast majority were at the golf outing, so attendance was low, but still some decent discussion to be had. Got a snuggly huggly from my sponsor over my four month anniversary, so that was cool. Also, some nice comments from regulars who know me from other meetings. I ran into Andy and he said he'd be utterly pleased to pass along that information to the other counselors in Residential. I was also glad to hear that Joe successfully came out of his cancer surgery. GOOD FOR HIM!!!
Sunday's meeting appealed to Stef as it pertained more to the psychological aspects of the speaker's recovery. And as I told my After Care therapist Jim yesterday... it was nice not to have to go down that whole "how it used to be" part of the open meetings. We all have our stories and they usually tend to be the same in the "before" times, so Sunday was refreshing.
Monday's meeting at St. David's was also nice. It was a small group. One table. On the drive over I was mentally doing gymnastics on whether or not to share my anniversary as I'd just done it two days running over at Gateway and Mercy... but the selfish part of me that still exists wanted the pat on the back. Polite applause ensued.
Yesterday was my appointment with my therapist. It had been almost a month, if not more, since the last time he and I were in a session together, but we picked up where we left off at.
I am still presently working my way through Step Four and I am nowhere near completion, but then, there isn't a timeframe for it. It's just tough. For me, this is a really rough one. Jim and I spent most of my session talking about it. "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
I've been mentally going over this step for a number of weeks now. It takes up my morning and evening mediation times... and pretty much a lot of my personal time. I said as much to Jim. He commented that this one is a major issue for a lot of people in the program. He volunteers at a prison and has a group he helps with their addiction(s). He gave me one of the handouts he gives those guys. It's a combo of AA and NA. He said to obviously take from it what I could and to work on it to the best of my abilities. We'll discuss my own personal findings when we next meet. Needless to say it's rough going.
Ego has a lot to do with it, he said. Just when I think I've stopped being judgmental of other people, I have to address that dragon... my ego. I've been internally working on this throughout today. I was out and about looking around the area for a possible gig and had added a few to my list of applied jobs. Something has got to hit sooner or later. I said as much yesterday and he was hopeful too.
I have a meeting on Monday with a new agency. My repeated calls to the old one have not been returned. (We spoke about that too.) UGH!
Side-note: As Jim and I were talking about my gigs... he said that he thought my voice sounded familiar. Apparently he had booked a party for their group when I was working with Portillo's. He said he dealt with "some guy" who was uber-helpful and knew about the dishes. Jeepers... who do you think he spoke with? LOL. We had a laugh over that one.
I'm checking on a gig tomorrow that will involve a slight road trip.
One Day at a Time.
The following photo gag is a thinker. Spot the joke:
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