One is Too Many. One Thousand Is Never Enough.

DAY TWO:  Intense Outpatient Program.


The title of the post comes from someone in my Group earlier this morning.  I really liked it and made it a point to jot it down.


Mornings start promptly with our Counselor "I" (his initial) going around the room and asking us how we're doing and how yesterday went.  I was happy to say that today was my one week anniversary.  (OK, it's like my third one total, but we also discussed how some of us keep track of time differs from person to person.)  I've been making it a point to keep myself busy when I get home from my sessions, and that has been really helping.  So has the tough love we give one another during the day. 


There was a bit of a commotion when one of the Group admitted she went out yesterday and bought a pint of vodka.  Why?  Because she wanted to have a drink.  She claims to have only taken a few sips and put the bottle away... but our Counselor was more than a little put out.  He asked that they both meet after the day's session.  She's quite possibly going to have start her program all over again... we shall see what happens tomorrow.  (I am keeping this rather generic, as these sessions are quite a bit more stringent and putting in too many details is not part of their recovery program.


A majority of our discussion turned to "Conditioning" and "Prediction Error".  "I" posited that "T" automatically went out to purchase that bottle due to her conditioning, rather than trying to determine several other options as opposed to drinking.  It made a lot more sense in the meeting than it does as I am typing this.  (Think Pavlov's Dog Conditioning, that's how "I" described it.


Another of my Group was four days clean from heroin.  He's still going through withdrawals, and it's odd to see a scrawny young man sitting in a chair with his knees drawn up under his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs.  The Group knew more about him, but as this was only my second say meeting him, I was more than a little shocked to find out that his normal job is being a tutor.  (I'm not judging, mind you!  Just odd to me.)


Yesterday, Monday, was my first day with the Group and the last hour and a half was dedicated to me, so I could introduce myself to the gang, tell them my story, and what I hoped to attain during my program/treatment.  They were both kind and brutally honest in their responses, which I appreciated.


Looking forward to Wednesday.


Weekend Flashback:  As I didn't blog, Saturday's meeting with Neighbor "J" was nice.  Not quite that many people as usual, but at least it was a better topic.  It was in regard to what everyone does with their down time at home and away from AA meetings.  Everyone had their own little stories, but it all came to a halt when one gentlemen spoke up, stating that he was 3 days sober following nearly 18 years in the program.  He had no reason for this massive relapse, but he was utterly distraught with his announcement.  Thankfully he was in the same facility where I attend my sessions, so "I" was there to assist following the meeting.  I also got a new sponsor, it was my neighbor's sponsor.  That was nice,


Sunday's open meeting was sort of a mirror image of mine.  It was a woman who was in the AA program, while her poor suffering husband was in the Al-Anon program for family members.  Overall, an informative meeting.  I sat next to my former sponsor "J", and we left things very amicable.  He even said he was sorry about his availability and that I was always welcome to call him if I ever felt the need.  That was very kind of him and I let him know that.


That's about it for now.  :-)


I should be back in the swing of things going forward.  :-)