Today's meeting was a natural reflection of last Thursdays meeting... Steps 8 and 9 are a matched set. As I said before, Step 8 deals with making amends to those I have harmed. Step 9 reads as follows:
"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Big request. A MASSIVE one in my opinion. As we took turns reading the entire chapter that goes along with that Step... it will inevitably prove to be the most difficult one for me to successfully fulfill. I touched on this when I commented on last week's Step 8 meeting. How in the world can I accomplish this one without opening up old wounds and contacting persons/people I really have no right contacting?!? I was told from the other folks there today that I will know within myself who those people are that need amends. I guess it will be a work in progress... for the time being, at any rate.
For some of my AA pals out there in other areas across the country... the blog will continue... but I have been given a gift. I have been given the opportunity to return home. Some of the people I have been seeing at these daily meetings I've been attending simply can't be there every single day, so I let them know that if they didn't see me... it didn't mean I'd given up or fallen. I just get to return home and continue this much more successful endeavor with people closer to home. I will let any remaining folks know tomorrow the same thing.
I thanked them for their time, advice and guidance. It's what made this time around even more concrete to me personally than previously. I had an opportunity to share that the person I was, the one that originally entered AA back in Aurora was gone. (RUN-ON SENTENCE NOMINEE FOR 2016!) So was the man my wife was married to. I'm not that same person any more. I'd like to think I am better. I've changed and am probably still changing... which is a good thing. I didn't particularly like the person Jim was becoming. That Jim wasn't much of a man. I threw a lot of my life away... doing something utterly stupid. Drinking. That's not a life. That's insanity. A lot of self-delusion and being content with mediocrity.
But this time around I know that I don't need to be content with that. (If any of that ramble makes any sense.)
I miscounted my days of sobriety... a count my beautiful wife was all too ready to correct me on. (AND I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST LOVING WAY POSSIBLE!!!!) It will be a month of better aligned sobriety in/around the 22nd or so.
That's all I've got for today.
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